Just heard a piece on NPR about a German child who lacks Myostatin, a protein inhibitor that limits muscle growth. As a result, he can smash toys twice as easily as other childen his age. He's four, and can hold two seven pound weights, arms fully extended. You can't do that, you pansy. The kid is from a family of athletes and bruisers, so all the right genes fell into place for our first true superhuman.

Scientists are excited about the possiblity of repeating this in atrophied patients and helping people with muscular degeneration. But we all know where this will go-- it'll be the new, more powerful replacement for steroids, and we'll have some seriously strong freaks running around overtipping cars and kicking sand in our (re: your) face. But since the heart is a muscle, and one you really don't want to grow all that large, our best defense will be to trick them into chasing us for a minute.