Channel the entity "Jeff Parker" from beyond the Ether

Friday, September 16, 2005


Sorry to end Beverage Week on a down note, but it's important to point out drink trends that suck as well, like these verdammt "energy" drinks. The biggest offender to me is ROCKSTAR, mainly because when I'm on the freeway I have to see this cheesy bimbo poster with a girl who looks like a novelty blow-up doll. It's a pretty common practice to try to suggest a viewer think of another word when looking at your ad, and there's no missing that they want you to hear the name as PORNSTAR, especially since just like the band they have a star where the A should be. Now that's just bad taste, but what's morally bereft is that they're obviously aiming this at teens who want to look like they're drinking a malt liquor, the way they Schlitzify the design of the can. I just saw some kids on the train the other day acting with it, acting like they had a grownup drink. The company is based in Las Vegas, shocking I know. I can't get beyond all that cheese factor to actually buy the drink and try it, but if it tastes anything like Red Bull, I'd rather go drink some algae water out of a dirty aquarium.

Beverage Week says Thumbs Down to ROCKSTAR.


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